I think I'm a pretty stand-up guy. Not to toot my own horn, but I do some good stuff. Like open the door for people, give up my seat on a crowded bus or train, and generally serve others before serving myself. Hell, on more than one occasion, I have given up an aisle seat on an international flight and been put in a MIDDLE seat. Now, I'm not saying I'm some angel, but I do try to help people out here and there.
So, naturally, you can understand my chagrin at what happened in the customs line at Newark last week. After two 9-hour flights back from India, I was excited to be back in the States and only a short train ride from home. That's when a roaming TSA agent approaches me in line--singles me out, mind you--and, gesturing to see my passport and boarding pass, asks, "Have you ever been with the service?"
Not understanding why he was asking me in particular, I hand him my passport and then offer a simple reply, "No."
The TSA agent then stares at me blankly and does nothing. Confused, I think I maybe misheard the guy. So I back up. "I'm sorry--what did you ask?"
"Have you ever been in the service?" he repeats.
Clearly, I heard him right the first time and answered correctly. But just to clarify, I make sure. "Like the military?" I ask, at this point totally confused.
"Yes," he barks at me.
"No," I repeat.
"Why not?" he asks.
"Uhh, because I..."
"Just keep walking."
And he hands me back my documents and walks away. Not to ask other people why they are pieces of shit and don't serve our country. He just walks back to some behind-the-scenes TSA office. Now, here I am, looking like the asshole who never signed up for the military, for all intents and purposes "outed" by this guy as being some sort of unpatriotic jerk. And he did it in front of about 30 other people all standing in line around me. I can't even begin to fathom what had just happened, or what was happening.
The lady behind me in line summed it up perfectly. "That was bizarre," she said. Yeah, that's about right.
So, naturally, you can understand my chagrin at what happened in the customs line at Newark last week. After two 9-hour flights back from India, I was excited to be back in the States and only a short train ride from home. That's when a roaming TSA agent approaches me in line--singles me out, mind you--and, gesturing to see my passport and boarding pass, asks, "Have you ever been with the service?"
Not understanding why he was asking me in particular, I hand him my passport and then offer a simple reply, "No."
The TSA agent then stares at me blankly and does nothing. Confused, I think I maybe misheard the guy. So I back up. "I'm sorry--what did you ask?"
"Have you ever been in the service?" he repeats.
Clearly, I heard him right the first time and answered correctly. But just to clarify, I make sure. "Like the military?" I ask, at this point totally confused.
"Yes," he barks at me.
"No," I repeat.
"Why not?" he asks.
"Uhh, because I..."
"Just keep walking."
And he hands me back my documents and walks away. Not to ask other people why they are pieces of shit and don't serve our country. He just walks back to some behind-the-scenes TSA office. Now, here I am, looking like the asshole who never signed up for the military, for all intents and purposes "outed" by this guy as being some sort of unpatriotic jerk. And he did it in front of about 30 other people all standing in line around me. I can't even begin to fathom what had just happened, or what was happening.
The lady behind me in line summed it up perfectly. "That was bizarre," she said. Yeah, that's about right.
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