Football Thoughts - Week 15

Whoa! What a week 15! The Colts win, the Pack lose, and CJ Spiller goes off because I decided to bench him!

Here are my random thoughts from the Sunday that was Week 15:

Packers - What the F? How did the CHIEFS, of all teams, figure it out? Well, before we rush to give them too much credit, let's first take into account the circumstances surrounding the Pack's first loss of the season. Yes, the Pack are without Greg Jennings, but according to conventional wisdom, that shouldn't have mattered. While it perhaps does not matter with Aaron Rodgers at the helm, I have to think losing your best receiver hurts your offense just a little bit--new guys are running Jennings' routes, other guys are running unfamiliar routes, it's an away game in a stadium that is traditionally a tough place to play, etc. So I think the loss of Jennings was a bit of a negative. Also, the Packers' O-line was decimated. Guys kept dropping like flies, one was carted off with a broken leg. Even so, you would think this wasn't a huge deal--the Pack's O-line was busted up all last year, and they managed to take the title then--in fact, aren't these the Packers that espoused the "next man up" mantra all of last year on their 6 game winning streak to the title? You would think this, of all groups, is somewhat immune to injuries. I think you stockpile the injuries issue on top of the fact that KC has a decent D, with DB's who can successfully jam receivers at the line and pass rushers who were able to get through a patchwork O-line for the Pack, and you all of a sudden had a perfect storm. That's why every play the Pack ran on offense looked like a complete shitshow--Rodgers scrambling around, getting moved off of his launch points, receivers' timings being thrown off by press coverage, Tamba Hali running roughshod all over the place. And BAM, a team that couldn't seem to score a TD for some 48 consecutive drives managed to get one TD and 4 FGs and knock off the Packers. And lo and behold, the rest of the NFC now has a roadmap and a prayer to reach the Super Bowl. Jam 'em, rush 4 or 5 on Rodgers every passing down, disrupt his timing, disrupt receivers' routes early, and hope like hell that you can get some pressure on the QB and force bad throws. Do that, and you have a passing chance of beating the Packers.

Romeo Crennel - KC's interim head coach put on a great audition for his GM on Sunday, solving the Packers and getting a HUGE home win for the Chiefs and keeping them alive in the AFC playoff hunt. Perhaps the best moment of the weekend was watching KC's players, defensive and offensive alike, drench Crennel in gatorade and rally around him. You could tell that he is a player's coach, and the Chiefs' players seem to love him and want to play hard for him. Good for a guy who, in my opinion, didn't do a bad job in Cleveland. My vote is for Crennel for that coaching job. Let's see what he can do.

Colts - Really, this is more a post about the Titans. How do you go into Indy and lose? It's not like Indy is a tough place to play--we know their fans bail on them when the team doesn't perform well (see: Indy's return flight from the loss in Super Bowl XLIV and all 4 fans who were there to greet them). So I can't imagine crowd noise was a huge factor. For a team that has been making a playoff push, played the Saints to a nailbiter last week, and have the athletes in place to win games, how do the Titans explain this loss? Good for the Colts, though--defense rose up, running backs did their job (205 yds rushing), and oh yeah, Curtis Painter didn't play. And whoa, Tennessee--19 rushes and 56 passes? That's the balance of a team that got blown out from the opening snap. There is no excuse to run only 19 times in a game that was closely contested for the majority of the game. Matt Hasselbeck and Jake Locker aren't THAT good. Run the ball, boys!

Broncos/Pats - This was a good game for about one quarter. The Broncos gashed the Pats' dreadful D for 133 rushing yards in the first quarter, jumped out to a 16-7 lead and then never got anything going the rest of the way. Clearly, the Pats decided to guard against the run and let Tebow beat them with his arm. Bold move by a shitty secondary, but it paid off. Also, turnovers crushed the Broncos early. What did we learn from this game? The Broncos' D really isn't THAT good--remember, they let Minnesota score 32 on them a couple weeks ago. We also confirmed that Tim Tebow isn't a miracle-worker. The guy can create and extend plays like a handful of other QBs in the league and there is no question he is a strong leader of that team. But he is a below-average (but improving) passer on a pretty mediocre team. Good thing for the Broncos that they play in the AFC West and STILL have a one-game hold on the division with two to play. Pathetic division.

Ravens - You are dreadful on the road. Flacco is doing his best 2006 Rex Grossman this year. Flashes of brilliance, flashes of feces. Last night was truly putrid. The INT to Spikes--how does he not see a LB camping out right in the middle of his passing lane?--was inexcusable, and the other dropbacks when he didn't throw a pick, he either held the ball too long or always settled for dumpoffs. Perhaps I should credit the Chargers' D more, but Flacco has been too inconsistent for me to be a believer in the Ravens this year. Especially now that the Ravens are looking at being a wild-card on the road instead of a 2-seed with a home game. And come on, Ravens' D--torched by Phillip Rivers, and his throws weren't even that good--he just had open receivers all night long. Dreadful performance by what we thought was a title contender. At least for this week, I'm no longer a believer in the Ravens.

Texans - This was the first big "Uh oh" game for the Texans since they lost Schaub. The team has come back to earth with TJ Yates at the helm and laid a big egg at home against the lowly (but underrated) Panthers. As with the Ravens, I'm a seller of the Texans. Too predictably run-heavy, rookie QB in the playoffs--it doesn't add up to a Super Bowl run to me. Pats and Steelers are the two big horses in the AFC race at this point.

Eagles - Hard to believe that this team can win out, have a couple of things happen to the Cowboys and Giants, and actually WIN the NFC East and play a HOME PLAYOFF GAME. WHAT! The NFC East is doing its best NFC West impression this year. First team to 9 wins...wins! And the way the Eagles are playing with Vick back in the fold--I wouldn't count them out. As long as Dallas loses out (they play the Eagles at home and Giants away--wouldn't be surprised to see them lose both), and the Giants lose one (the Jets in Week 16?), the Eagles are in. That's a lot that has to happen, but hey, it's the NFC East, a division which no one seems willing to win.

Dolphins - Whoa! Reggie Bush lives! Good for you, Reggie. I still will take Darren Sproles over you, but as your biggest fan when you were in New Orleans, I wish you only the best!

Seahawks - This must be the most underrated D in the league right now. They are straight ballers. Brandon Browner should be heading to the Pro Bowl. They quashed a dangerous Eagles team and absolutely destroyed the Bears in Chicago yesterday. Quite a commendable win and late-season performance from a team that most had given up for dead at the beginning of the year.

Giants - News flash! The Giants won a game they were supposed to lose last week and lost a game they were supposed to win this week. In other news, the sun came up this morning! Eli, just when you trick everyone into thinking you are elite, you go and poop all over the field like this. What are we to do with you?

Lions - Ho hum, another two TD deficit erased in the fourth quarter to basically seal up a wild-card spot in the playoffs. I don't think anyone wants to play this team in the postseason.

Saints - Playing their best football of the year, but started off shaky yesterday with two lost fumbles in the first 3 possessions. Coming into the game, the Saints had fumbled 4 times all year, losing 3 of them. Both were best, by far, in the league. Even after the early brain farts, the Saints found their stride in the second half and scorched the Vikings before pulling the starters. Strong road win, albeit in a dome, for the black and gold. Drew Brees should now be garnering a whole lot of MVP attention. He is breaking records every game, and is on pace to eclipse Marino's record next week in the Dome. Better completion percentage than Rodgers (better even than his own record of 70.6% from 2009), more yards, three fewer TDs, five more INTs. But Brees has the talking heads all wondering who the NFC's best team is, which is quite a feat. I still think it's the Packers, only because they have the inside track to homefield advantage and have a more opportunistic, although porous, D. So for now, I'm still high on the Packers. Let's see how the Saints handle the Falcons on MNF next week. One win, and the Saints lock up the NFC South again. Good for them, and good for Sean Payton, who has made double-digit win totals the standard in the Big Easy.

The Heisman!

Here are my thoughts on the Heisman trophy, and how I think the voting should go on Saturday:

Winner - Robert Griffin, III, Baylor - I know the Heisman usually goes to "the best player on the best team" but that thinking is out this year. Not that Tyrann Mathieu and Trent Richardson didn't have phenomenal years; it's just that the level of play logged all year by RG3 was astronomical, and for some reason, not talked about. I'm not sure how many people actually watched Baylor games this year. To be fair, I didn't watch that many. But I'm sure a lot of people saw the barn-burner against TCU to open up the college football season. I came away from that game thinking two things: 1) TCU's defense is NOT what it was last year and 2) That Baylor QB can flat-out play--great arm, great legs, smart player. Sure, maybe Andrew Luck has the skill set most translatable to the next level, but that is not what the Heisman rewards (just ask Gino Torretta and Danny Wuerffel). It's about the best player in college football this year. RG3 has Jean Greyed the Baylor Bears, bringing them out of the ashes to a 9-3 record, with huge wins over OU and Texas this year (that's like Vanderbilt beating Alabama and LSU in the same season--it is, quite simply, not supposed to happen). Without RG3, I think Baylor doesn't win those games and a large handful of others. He has brought relevance to the Baylor name in NCAA football. Now, Luck did the same thing with Stanford, albeit a year ago, and simply continued his brilliance this year. So at this point, I am fine to leave it up to the stats. RG3 has a higher completion percentage, more yards, more TDs, and fewer INTs than Luck. That all means a passer rating 25 points higher than Luck. He has 700 more rushing yards, 7 more rushing TDs, and I would venture to say, more game-changing plays than Andrew Luck had this year. And they both played in strong BCS conferences (ie, NOT the Big East). My vote, if anyone cares, is for this guy. I mean, let's be honest, he put up stats that would be pretty strong if shared across TWO guys. Of course, if my soapbox isn't enough for you, maybe this is.

1st Runner-Up - Trent Richardson, Alabama - The best player on arguably the best team in the country this year (yeah, I said it!). In a game where inches were hard to come by, Richardson lit up the LSU defense for 169 total yards on offense--something many teams couldn't accomplish this year. I can't count how many "Wow" runs Richardson had this year--the guy simply does not go down. Without Richardson, Alabama is clearly not the team it is today. Let's face it--everyone saw the LSU-Alabama game and saw how anemic the Alabama aerial attack was. Richardson brings balance, credibility, and intimidation to an Alabama rushing game that allow the Tide to open up downfield and make some big plays. A player who makes everyone else around him better? Trent Richardson's your guy. His numbers don't leap out as much as RG3's, but then again, he's playing in the SEC and let's also remember, Alabama played all of one close game this year. I'm sure Richardson saw a lot of fourth-quarter pine that sapped his numbers. Not the greatest speed I've ever seen, but he makes up for it with his violent style of running.

2nd Runner Up - Andrew Luck, Stanford - Not that the guy had a bad year, but nothing was record-breaking about it. I think we all expected him to be great, and he was. I think, unfortunately, Luck was the victim of the Tom Brady curse--everyone knows he's excellent, so we'll only notice when he is not excellent. This year, he was pretty consistently excellent. I just think that, when stacked up against RG3, Luck's season comes up just a hair short. Maybe the balanced offense Stanford offers has something to do with it--Stanford is running more of a west-coast style offense, so 373 attempts go for 3,170 yards; versus Baylor, who is not shy to stretch the field, and has 369 attempts go for nearly 4,000 yards. I don't think there is any question who would win if the two teams played--Stanford is more consistent, more balanced, and overall, just a better team. But I think RG3 is the better player. This year, at least.

3rd Runner-Up - Montee Ball, Wisconsin - Montee Ball has quietly put together a season for the books. And like RG3, no one seems to be talking about it. The guy is about to break a 20-year old record held by Barry Sanders (he just needs two TDs in the Rose Bowl to eclipse Sanders' record of 39 TDs in a year), who won the Heisman that year. I think, in general, the Big Ten gets a bit marginalized in the football lexicon. As a SEC homer, I won't shy away from the fact that I downright hate watching Big Ten football and don't find that many dynamic personalities, players, or teams there. This year, Madison has provided a nice respite from the usual rumbling pile of dust that generally defines Big Ten games. Russell Wilson and Montee Ball have added sex to the Big Ten, and Wisconsin is undoubtedly one of the most fun teams to watch in the nation. Ball also looks like he has the build and the quickness to be on many fantasy rosters in the near future--something of a Ray Rice/Frank Gore hybrid.

4th Runner-Up - Tyrann Mathieu, LSU - While LSU fans (this one at least) are happy to have a candidate at the presentation, I think everyone knows that this is where Mathieu will end up. Great season, and far more than you can ever expect from a 5'7" cornerback who wasn't even highly recruited out of high school. But, the problem is, great seasons are measured by stats and the Heisman is an individual award. Individual stats just don't really come easy on the defensive end, which is why we will always see QBs and RBs win the Heisman, and not DBs and DTs. It is clear that Mathieu raises the level of play of the LSU defense when he is on the field. And it is clear that Mathieu can change the entire feel of a game in 10 seconds--like he did against Arkansas and Georgia the last two weeks. But let's be realistic--he's a defensive player, and defensive players don't win Heismans any more. And there's also that whole synthetic marijuana issue...

The Assault Returns!

Ok, that's it. I've had it.

After a two-week Thanksgiving binge and new lows in self-esteem and personal body image, I've decided to really make a change for the better. Enough of this nonsense of weighing too much. This month, I'm vowing to lose 5-10 lbs and head into 2012 with a full head of steam to get back to my playing weight of around 180. I'm putting it in writing here so I can fully commit--you all can and should hold me accountable. This is going to happen. I'm sick of being pudgy and doughy, god dammit!

For a bit of background, I hit a low on Memorial Day, when I stepped onto a scale in a New York hotel and read 203. Talk about a wake-up call. At my leanest and fittest back in Seattle, I was at about 175, easily repping my own weight on the bench, and capable of running 2.5 miles in 20 minutes after a 45-minute lifting session. Even though I enjoyed the occasional pizza or all-night drink-fest with the boys, there was always a focus on fitness--arena soccer once a week, lifting regularly, running stairs behind the house in Seattle, 10-15 minutes of abs every night before bed. Because of my good habits then, I always prided myself on not being one of those guys whose weight fluctuates a lot. And then, something changed--location, priorities, lifestyle, something. And the love handles came screaming back and never left.

Over the last 6 months, I've tried to maintain my activity levels while watching a bit more what I eat--much less pizza, much less Thai food, but still, admittedly, snacking late at night, likely eating too much fat/carbs, continuing to eat out a lot, not hydrating enough, and definitely not hitting the weights as much as I like. While I've reined in some bad habits over the last 6 months and have lost 12 lbs to show for it, I know I can do better. It's high time to get serious.

Thus, I'm embarking on The Assault on the Handles, Part II, a.k.a, The Assault. Those who knew me in 2007 will remember The Assault Part I, which saw me go from 195 to 170 and ended with my getting engaged to TheFiancee, now known as TheWife. As you can see, The Assault only produces positive results. While I'm not looking to get re-engaged on this Assault, the intent is to feel better about my body, my fitness and my health, something that hasn't happened in a while.

The Assault began in earnest this Monday, December 5th, when I figured that over 4 weeks, losing 5-10 lbs is a reasonable and healthy goal. My thinking is this--run calorie deficits like mad, all month long, but run sustainable calorie deficits. None of this everyday starving myself and exercising for two hours and being miserable throughout nonsense. The goal is not to have a six-pack; rather, it is to foster habits that can continue for years to come. Gradual and permanent moderation in the diet, exercise that I find fun and refreshing and thus don't mind doing--that's the idea, because then it is repeatable. 28 days of running 500-1,000 calorie deficits means 14,000-28,000 extra calories burned this month. That is just shy of 5-10 lbs--a solid poopie on January 2 will get me over the hump, I'd imagine. Given that the weekends are generally spent out of town, or having guests visit, my plan is to run strong deficits on the weekdays, giving myself a bit of leeway on the weekends if I can't work out. But still, watching what I eat on the weekends. Eating out at restaurants is The Assault's kryptonite, so this is when I have to be vigilant and cautious. For a little more math, according to basal metabolic rate calculators, a 29-year old, 6-foot tall male weighing 190 should burn through about 1,990 calories a day just by existing. If I can restrict calories and exercise to a point where my net (calories consumed minus basal metabolic rate minus calories burned in exercise) is around -500 to -1,000 a day, I should be in business. One day at a time.

So here's how we're doing. Started Monday with an 80-minute squash session, keeping my calories to around 1,220 (!) for the day (1,220 consumed minus 1,990 basal minus 700 for squash equals -1,470). Tuesday, I took the day to recover (squash does a number on the legs), ate about 1,830 calories and by my calculation, walked roughly 1.5 to 2 miles at Costco, the mall, and the VA hospital, where I took TheWife her dinner; also did some push-ups and crunches before bed (1,830 consumed minus 1,990 basal minus 180 for walking and pushups/abs equals -340). Today, Wednesday, did a 90-minute squash session, while consuming 2,100 calories (2,100 consumed minus 1,990 basal minus 800 for squash equals -690). So, the first three days of The Assault have seen me run a deficit of about 2,500 cumulative calories, just more than 800 per day, and just shy of a pound. The plan tomorrow--gym for chest, triceps, and shoulders plus a 10-minute run; load up on protein, keep the fat and calories low-ish, and finish the night off with abs before bed; let's aim for another 1,000 deficit. As of this morning, I weighed in at 190.6 lbs. 10 lbs to go. I'll let you know what each day brings.

The plan, going forward: 2-3 lifting sessions per week and 2-3 cardio sessions per week, consisting of squash or running. 1-2 days of rest, keeping the calories low, around 1,200-1,500. And the quality of food will be totally different. Out with pizza, cashews, chips and dip, tacos, what have you. In with "masala corn," a simple dish of whole corn kernels sauteed with lemon juice, chili powder, and salt; in with fat-free yogurt and the old standby green bean curry, again a simple saute of green beans with mustard seeds, cumin seeds, turmeric, chili powder, and salt; in with turkey burgers, which heat up on the stove quickly and are 200 calories, 35g protein, 6g fat, and very filling; in with homemade turkey sandwiches and baby carrots or baked Lays for lunch; in with Indian-style sauteed Brussels sprouts, which is just like the green bean curry; in with the old standby chop salad with romaine, green and red bell peppers, cucumber, broccoli, garbanzo beans, fajita chicken, light cheese, tabasco, and light ranch; in with tomato soup and toast. All foods that I find quite delicious, and that don't make me destroy the toilet at night.

So here we are. The Assault is in full swing. Stay tuned.

An Unfunny Thing Happened at the Garden

Some of you know that I went to Madison Square Garden Tuesday night to watch Coach K attempt to secure his record-breaking 903rd win. While the game was great and it was special to see Coach K get the record, sadly, the night was stained by an unfortunate incident. You can read about it here.

More Power Outages! Hooray!

In the face of fear that this is quickly going from TheRangaBlog to TheAngerBlog, I would like to point out my most recent frustration with things in general. As you may well know, we had a good old fashioned "Nor'easter" here in Connecticut over the weekend. Anticipating that the damaged trees from Irene were not a good sign once heavy, wet snow fell, I was sure we'd lose power. We rode our luck for the first 12 hours of the storm and had a nice day at home, watching movies, lighting fires, and eating like pigs. After a few teases of a power outage, around midnight, the power went out for good. We called it a night and went to sleep.

At this point, we were pretty sure we were fucked.  I held out a glimmer of hope that the outage would be less than our 6-day debacle during Irene. Why? Because our utility, United Illuminating, had only about 45,000 customers lose power, out of the total 320,000 served. Compare that to Irene, when UI had more than 100,000 customers go dark. UI even encouraged this hope, saying that they expected all power to be restored by Monday, October 31st, at midnight. Two days max without power? I can live with that.

Of course, UI overpromised and underdelivered. The table below is a "Town Outage List" that UI updates every 20 minutes throughout the day. When the table first came out, there were 19,000 outages total, and Hamden (my town) represented 2,500 of them. We were definitely on the larger end of the scale, with only a couple other towns like Fairfield, Trumbull, and Shelton being in the 2,000-3,000 range. My frustration stems from watching this table over the last few days and seeing every other town dwindle to less than 100 outages while Hamden held steady up at 1,900 until this morning. Only today are we starting to see some progress in Hamden, which now accounts for 1,100 of the 2,000 total outages. That's right, we went from being 2,500 out of 19,000 total outages to 1,100 out of 2,000 total outages. Why, God, WHY!!! Please give us our power back! All I want to do is take a poopie at home!

As of 11/01/2011 03:10 PM
Town	Number Served	Events	Current Number Out	Portion Out (%)
Ansonia	8,514	9	9	0.11%
Bridgeport	57,938	6	6	0.01%
Derby	6,308	2	2	0.03%
East Haven	12,986	17	17	0.13%
Easton	2,869	53	173	6.03%
Fairfield	22,194	29	81	0.36%
Hamden	25,896	108	1,093	4.22%
Milford	26,174	10	13	0.05%
New Haven	54,264	40	72	0.13%
North Branford	3,352	6	6	0.18%
North Haven	11,418	39	145	1.27%
Orange	5,976	7	60	1.00%
Shelton	16,494	67	81	0.49%
Stratford	22,960	5	11	0.05%
Trumbull	13,589	81	83	0.61%
West Haven	24,566	8	71	0.29%
Woodbridge	3,626	31	110	3.03%
Totals	319,124	518	2,033	0.64%
Copyright 2011, The United Illuminating Company.

Update: Blogger on a Plane

Thought I'd fill you all in on how my parking at LGA fiasco finished up. I finish up my meetings in Chicago, and because of insane traffic from downtown Chicago all the way to O'Hare, I'm forced to push back my flight by an hour. Now, I'm slated to land at LGA at 10. No worries--home by 12, I think. Still better than the cab/train/drive home combo. My flight lands at the Marine Terminal at LGA (whatever the hell that is), and I'm ready to get the F home after a long week. Deplaning, I ask the uniformed gate agent how to get to Parking P3, and she says, "Go outside to the right, and wait for the Route A bus. That will take you to P3."

"Hey hey!" I think, "No mile-long walk?? My luck is finally turning!" I easily find the bus stop the lady directed me to, and I begin waiting. And waiting. And waiting. 12 minutes later, the Route A bus shows up. 4 of us immediately board the bus, put our baggage on the racks, and find seats. However, the bus does not move. Apparently, this is the beginning of the route, so we're forced to wait some pre-specified amount of time (about 10 minutes) before we can leave. Mind you, at the Marine Terminal, there is hardly any line for a cab at 10pm on a Friday night, so cabbing to Grand Central likely would not have been such a hassle. Deciding to ignore this and instead focusing on the fact that I don't have to walk a mile to my car, I get up to confirm with the driver that I'm on the right bus. "Does this bus go to P3?" I ask, and he says "Yeah." Done.

I quickly notice that P3 will be the bus's 5th stop, which sucks, but whatever. We hit the first stop, Parking P7 and P6. Driver stops, no one gets off, we push off. Over the loudspeaker, an automated voice announces that the next stop is P5, and please tell the driver if you need P5. No one speaks up, so we continue on. Next stop, says the computer lady, is Terminal D. We stop, most of the people get off here. We pull up about 100 yards and pick up people from Terminal D arrivals. We do the same at Terminal C--drop off and pick up. Then, finally, the computer lady says P3 is the next stop. Excited to finally be back at my car a full 45 minutes after I've left the gate, I start gathering my things. As I look up, I see P3 right next to us. Not sure where the driver will stop for P3, I remain seated. He continues to drive, and then computer lady says "Next stop, Terminal B." And I get up and say "Whoa! What happened to P3!" And then the guy looks at me and shrugs his head and pulls the bus over immediately and says "Shoot, man. I thought you already got off. It's right behind us, about a three minute walk." Incensed by my shit luck and as usual, pissed off at LGA, I get off the bus and read a sign that says "Walk to Parking P3: 1000 feet or 10 minute walk." Luckily, 1000 feet really does only take about 3 minutes, and at least it's not raining this time, so it wasn't all bad. But my ONE chance to redeem this whole parking at LGA sham of an operation is foiled, again.

Finally, I get in the car, and of COURSE, my iPhone is dead because iOS5 drains the shit out of my battery. I don't have the old school Garmin in the car, so I'm a bit cut off at the knees. I plug the phone into the car charger, knowing that it will take some minutes to get any juice whatsoever. However, using my common sense, I know that LGA is located on Interstate 278 in New York. When I came from Connecticut, I took 278 West into New York. So, I figure, take 278 East back to Connecticut, where I can then find 95 and get home. As I'm making my way to 278 East, I see signs that say "278 East/Triboro Bridge/Manhattan/Bronx" and I get a bit confused. I'm not sure if 278 East will take me straight into midtown or what. Not choosing to risk that, I ask the now energized iPhone what to do. It tells me to turn around and take Grand Central Parkway in the other direction toward the Whitestone Bridge--and all the roads look green and it says 1 hour, 44 minutes to home. Great, I think, this way I can bypass NYC and all its major headaches. Except apparently, the Whitestone Bridge is under construction after 10pm and has created a 5-mile long standstill of traffic. Google, in all its wisdom and user praise, has crashed the "Let's Fuck Arie" party that my gas station shelter, I-95, the Bridgeport Train Station, and LaGuardia have thrown this week. These 5 miles take me 55 minutes to cover; during this entire time, I can see that 278 East does, in fact, go right past Manhattan and on into eastern New York and up into Connecticut. Needless to say, once I paid my penance on the Whitestone Bridge, I went about 95 mph the rest of the way home to make up for lost time. Still, my plan to land at 10 and be home by 12 turned into getting home at 1:30am. By my calculations, I could have been home by 12:30 on the train. Moral of the story--NEVER drive into NYC, especially when the world hates you.

Blogger on a Plane

So, right now I'm on a plane from LGA to ATL, and let me tell you, did I barely make it. Brief recap of the morning: up at 6, I get the genius idea that I should drive to NYC for my meeting today, rather than train in. This way, when I fly from Chicago back to NYC on Friday night, rather than waiting in the cab line, going to Grand Central, and jumping on a 2 hour train ride back home, I could simply park at LaGuardia, get off the plane Friday, jump in my car, and be home in little more than an hour. Big mistake. Left the house at 7, realized I needed gas. Is it raining? Of course it is. Am I in my suit and tie? You know it! Did the gas station shelter have 1,000 leaks in it so that water was splashing up on me from all angles while filling up? Now you're getting it! Did I accidentally smear the back of my suit along my wet, dirty car trying to avoid said splashes from all angles? Ding ding ding! It's now 7:44, and I've already gotten off to a shit start. Then, because Northeasterners treat rain like Southerners treat snow, it took me FOUR HOURS to drive 80 miles down I-95 into NYC. Even made a stop in Bridgeport, attempting to jump on a Metro North train just so I could make the meeting on time. Did I get to the ticketing counter just in time to watch the aforementioned Metro North train head off? You know the answer to that. Anyway, long story short, I had to push back my 10am meeting until noon, and push back my 2pm flight to 3pm.

All of that nonsense behind me, I figure the day is mine. The meeting goes off pretty swell, all things considered, and I'm ready to head out to Atlanta for the next set of meetings tomorrow. "Off to LaGuardia, and fuck this noise!" I think to myself, softly pumping my fist as I take the BQE to the airport. So, I'm following signs at the airport, and one sign says "Terminals A, B" and points off to the left. I know I'm looking for Terminal D, so smartly, I continue on. In a few feet, I see a sign that says "Terminals C, D and All Parking" with an arrow off to the right. Continuing to be the college grad that I am, I follow this sign. Shortly thereafter, one sign says "Short-term Parking" and points one way, another sign says "Long-Term Parking P3"  and points the other way. I take this other way. It directs me around in a circle and into a huge parking lot. Given that it's raining and this lot is not covered, I'm not thrilled about it, but hey, that's about all you can expect from New York's infrastructure, which I'm rapidly realizing is lagging behind India's. Not caring to lug my umbrella to Atlanta and then Chicago, where it certainly is not raining, I figure I'll make a mad dash into the terminal--after all, it's not raining that hard. After walking a few hundred yards with my suitcase, my laptop bag, and my co-worker's suitcase (I volunteered to take his bag with me, because I can check it for free--see post below about what a stand-up guy TheRanga is), I notice that the building with the huge "Delta Air Lines" sign on it is not, in fact, Terminal D. It is some Delta Cargo bay with no entrance. Confused, I look around, and realize I've walked about a hundred yards in the wrong direction and need to backtrack. Annoying? Yes. Is it raining harder now? Of course. Am I pretty pissed off that my shit day continues? You bet.

So I soldier on, getting my suit and my luggage drenched. When I arrive at the terminal, I realize this is not Terminal D--there are nothing but US Airways ticketing signs all around me. Confused, I ask a uniformed man where Delta is, and he gestures further in the direction that I'm walking. I look off, and in the distance, I see a small building, which apparently passes for Terminal D at this airport. By my estimation, it's another quarter mile of trudging out in the open. I'm already sweaty, drenched with rain, and flabbergasted that LaGuardia would make any passenger walk this far, uncovered, to their terminal. What about days when it snows??? And then, it dawns on me that I parked in P3, which is apparently PARKING FOR TERMINAL B, YOU LAGUARDIA ASSHOLES! HOW ABOUT A FUCKING SIGN?!? Literally, I followed the sign for Terminals C and D and Long-term parking, and ended up getting donkey punched by the Port of New York. At this point, I'm feeling very hoodwinked. My whole plan to conveniently walk off the plane right to my car on Friday night is clearly shot in the ass.

So again, to recap: in order to save 2 hours of taxis and trains and make life easier on myself Friday night when I arrive at LGA, I decided to drive to LGA today and park there. This cost me a rain-smeared Canali suit at the gas station, a 4-hour marathon drive during which I maxed out at 44mph, a postponed meeting, a pushed-back flight, a re-soaking of the suit and luggage, and a 3/4 mile walk to my terminal. All so I can land on Friday and again walk 3/4 mile back to my car. It's just that easy!

Why do Stocks Keep Going Up?

Um, why are the stock markets rallying so much this week? I understand that Europe seems to be reaching a bailout agreement, but has anything changed here in the US? Last I checked, we still had high unemployment, non-existent wage growth, and no job creation to even sniff at. And yet, for some reason, since the US government's debt outlook was lowered on August 5th, US Treasury bonds have rallied and the S&P is roughly flat, while emerging markets--the engines behind global growth and job creation--have faltered. I'm seeing Russia down 25%, Brazil and India down 15%, and China down 10%. Looks like a flight to safety still seeks US debt, even when the US is headed the way of my last dump.

These sell-offs are great for anyone willing to take the risk of EM equities. I'll focus on India for the time being, as that is my trade. Exactly nothing in India has changed since August 5th, save for a moderation of inflation expectations. GDP looks on pace to post another 6.5% or 7.0% real growth for FY12 (that's March '11 to March '12). High-quality companies in the BSE-30 continue to prudently manage risk and generate annual earnings growth in excess of 20%. And India remains nicely de-coupled from the global economy, with only 18% of GDP being linked to exports (compare to China and Korea, where 30% and 50% of GDP is export-linked, respectively). So the quick story--an economy that is growing at 7% on an inflation-adjusted basis (and has grown at above 6% per year for the last 30 years), with plenty of companies armed with the talent and skill to translate that growth to the bottom line, in a country where the lion's share of the growth is domestically driven by the hundreds of millions of people earning higher wages and consuming more goods. What's not to like?

When the flight to safety occurs, India will always suffer. See: Sept. 15, 2008, when Lehman Brothers went belly-up. India's stock market fell 55% in the five weeks following Lehman. Again, what changed in India? The houses that US consumers were no longer buying--were any of those materials produced by India? No. The goods that US consumers stopped consuming--were any of those goods produced in India? No. But because India is viewed as risky, and the entire financial world needed to de-leverage and de-risk, India took the beating. If you had been smart, you invested in India in November, 2008, when the entire world said not to, and doubled your money. When the inevitable sovereign default or bank failure happens in the future, India will take the hit, and I'd advise you to buy it up. But hey, that's just me.

Awesome

It seems that my love for the Honey Badger Youtube sensation and my love for LSU football have magically melded into one beautiful being, this t-shirt, in honor of the Tigers' Tyrann Mathieu, the first defensive player since Charles Woodson to have a legit mention in the Heisman conversation. Maybe not the greatest nickname on earth (apparently Mathieu himself doesn't even like it), but like the honey badger, TheRanga don't give a shit.

By the way--is anyone not completely jazzed about the de-facto national championship game that will take place on November 5th? #1 LSU @ #2 Alabama. Whoa. Winner of that should just take the crystal football home. I guess OU fans will have something to say about that, so we may as well just play the national championship game as a formality in January.

ManCave Update!

So, the ManCave is coming along nicely. Last I posted, the floor was done, but many other things needed to be completed. Since then, all the electrical has been finished (woot woot, dimming lights!) and baseboards and door frames have been installed.

Problem is, all that awesome stuff that I want to get for the basement--well, cooler heads have prevailed. TheWife brings to my attention that we may only be here another year and a half, so why shell out the money to buy even more furniture and gadgets when we're not even sure we'll be here, and could potentially downsize somewhere else?

While it's pretty shitty of her to point this out, she is nonetheless right. So for the meantime, we'll put the pool table and home theater on hold, until we know where TheWife's fellowship will be. Those who want to see a ManCave here soon, root for Yale Pediatric Anesthesia. I know I will. I still may install some stuff down there soon, but she'll just have to be surprised by it.

That being said, the basement gym (GymCave?) is almost fully done. Got the treadmill, PowerTower, and weight bench all set up, the gym mats are laid down, and the 22-inch LED TV with articulating arm mount has been ordered and will be installed in the next week.

While this is sobering news for the ManCave followers out there, rest assured that NFL Sundays still live on at the house, just upstairs, closer to the fridge.

Bizarre

I think I'm a pretty stand-up guy. Not to toot my own horn, but I do some good stuff. Like open the door for people, give up my seat on a crowded bus or train, and generally serve others before serving myself. Hell, on more than one occasion, I have given up an aisle seat on an international flight and been put in a MIDDLE seat. Now, I'm not saying I'm some angel, but I do try to help people out here and there.

So, naturally, you can understand my chagrin at what happened in the customs line at Newark last week. After two 9-hour flights back from India, I was excited to be back in the States and only a short train ride from home. That's when a roaming TSA agent approaches me in line--singles me out, mind you--and, gesturing to see my passport and boarding pass, asks, "Have you ever been with the service?"

Not understanding why he was asking me in particular, I hand him my passport and then offer a simple reply, "No."

The TSA agent then stares at me blankly and does nothing. Confused, I think I maybe misheard the guy. So I back up. "I'm sorry--what did you ask?"

"Have you ever been in the service?" he repeats.

Clearly, I heard him right the first time and answered correctly. But just to clarify, I make sure. "Like the military?" I ask, at this point totally confused.

"Yes," he barks at me.

"No," I repeat.

"Why not?" he asks.

"Uhh, because I..."

"Just keep walking."

And he hands me back my documents and walks away. Not to ask other people why they are pieces of shit and don't serve our country. He just walks back to some behind-the-scenes TSA office. Now, here I am, looking like the asshole who never signed up for the military, for all intents and purposes "outed" by this guy as being some sort of unpatriotic jerk. And he did it in front of about 30 other people all standing in line around me. I can't even begin to fathom what had just happened, or what was happening.

The lady behind me in line summed it up perfectly. "That was bizarre," she said. Yeah, that's about right.

What I've Been Watching (And Liking) Recently

Here's a list of stuff (mostly recent) that I've watched once or many times over the last year or two and liked. Maybe you've seen them, maybe you haven't, but here's my take. I won't give too much away in case you haven't seen it, but I will tell you why I liked it.

Black Swan - Even if this movie had sucked, I would have loved it because Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are beautiful and I can stare at them all day. Add in the fact that this is a deeply complex movie with some seriously dark themes that are beautifully imagined on the screen, and top it off with a unique performance from Natalie Portman (you would think she's a ballerina, not an actress), and I'm not sure why this didn't win Best Picture. The music, the dancing, the story, the performance--a ridiculously well-crafted movie that leaves you thinking for a long while afterwards about the struggle of performance.

Also, there's a lesbian scene between the aforementioned ladies. So, yeah.

Toy Story 3 - Many call this the best of the Toy Story trilogy, and for good reason. For my money, the original is still my sentimental favorite, but Pixar really tied everything up expertly and did it in quite an emotional way in TS3. I'm not afraid to admit that the climax of the movie had me legitimately tearing up. But what a great way to wrap up a storyline and cast of characters that revolutionized the animated film landscape for the last 15 years, and likely much longer after this.

Bridesmaids - This movie has a strong argument for the best movie of 2011 thus far, not to mention the best comedy. I'm not one for chick flicks or femme-coms, and this movie breaks the mold. Kristen Wiig proves herself far too talented to be stuck on SNL every week--she is a joy to watch and effortlessly captures a tough character, reminding us all of someone in our circle of friends, our family, or maybe even our own selves, when we haven't been at our best. This movie is not "Hangover for Girls" as advertised: this movie has plot, character, and heart. It's a realistic, gritty, fun, and in many ways uncomfortable look at the pleasures and pains of getting older and moving on in our lives.

Kick Ass - I'll admit it--the premise looked shaky. Why do I want to watch a superhero movie about people who aren't superheroes? This movie of course has its flaws, but is laudable in its realistic take on superhero stories. The movie has the feel of a summer superhero movie, with strong comic relief, interesting characters working through their individual struggles and an easily hateable villain. But let's be clear--you want this movie for the action scenes. There is one scene in this movie--those who have seen it know what I'm talking about--that has to be in consideration for the best action scene ever captured on film. The combination of cinematography, choreography, accompanying score and gravity of the plot when the scene takes place is, simply put, transcendental. Better than any action scene I have ever witnessed. You have to see this movie, if only for that scene.

Crazy Stupid Love - Recently, TheWife and I were bemoaning the fact that no decent romantic comedy had been made since Love Actually. While we seemed to get strong rom-coms throughout the 90s with all the Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Hugh Grant, and Julia Roberts pics, we've been noticeably bankrupt of any good romantic comedies for years. TheWife thought that Larry Crowne would be her answer. Well, even she thought it was bad, and she only cares to watch movies that rate below 40% on RottenTomatoes.com. However, we heard this one was good, so gave it a shot. Somewhat surprisingly, this is a refreshing, fun, and relatable story that gets you into the characters and has you rooting for everyone. Steve Carrell is his usual great self, and Ryan Gosling is quite great as well. While it doesn't rate anywhere in my top movies list, it is the best of its genre in quite some time.

Friday Night Lights (TV) - TheWife has christened this "The Best Drama on TV. Ever." While I'm not yet willing to go that far, this series is certainly in the discussion. Completely unlike the movie, FNL is purely character-based, with West Texas football madness a constant and palpable undercurrent throughout each season. There isn't an overdose of football, so the ladies can stomach it. There isn't an overdose of cheese, so the guys like it. And the characters are perhaps the most interesting group of characters assembled on a show in some time. Whether going through high school with the players, at home or on the field with the coach, or following the grads after they've left Dillon high, the show creates a dynamic interplay between the characters' priorities in life and their love for West Texas football, and how sometimes, the two become hopelessly intertwined and force both good decisions and bad on everyone's part.

The Wire (TV) - Everyone but TheWife has called this the best drama on TV, and it's hard to argue. While some of the seasons get away from the most central and interesting characters, largely, the series stays on point as it addresses the issues of race, corruption, politics, and the drug trade in Western Baltimore, and how every person involved, from the drug lords to the cops to the mayor, deal with tackling the issues. While slow to start and at times slow to develop, HBO has uniquely developed a set of characters whom we feel so close to, we know what they should do, but what they will do, and why they will do it. In addition, the series brings a realistic look to crime-fighting that most crime shows don't--how gridlock, red tape and a system devoid of accountability can tangibly impact what happens on our streets, usually for the worst.

Rescue Me (TV) - A salty, testosterone-filled (that sounds super gross) look at the lives of firemen on FDNY Truck 62 in the wake of 9/11. The central character, played by Denis Leary, is a textbook hero with monumental struggle, but with seriously unorthodox ways--for better and for worse--of envisioning his own struggle and attacking it. Not only does the show cleverly capture the camaraderie and ethical code between brothers on the same truck, but also deftly depicts how the life of a fireman translates to the home. This show is one of the main reasons to pay attention to all the other shows FX puts out.

Frasier (TV) - Ending on a lighter note here, Frasier has to be my favorite sitcom of all time. From Frasier's arrival in Seattle and his initially coarse relationship with his own father Martin, to Niles' struggles with his own marriage and his latent feelings for Daphne, to Frasier's never-ending quest to find "the one" and Roz's undying attempts to land just one, this show is filled with acerbic wit, humorous drama, and a cast of five characters who can't be more different but are constantly there for one another, whether or not they want to be. It's hard to imagine a show being better written than Frasier. Modern Family comes close, and for good reason--Christopher Lloyd, who writes and produces for Modern Family, did the same for Frasier! Gonna have to find more of his stuff.

Fantasy Thoughts, Week 2

My not-so-quick thoughts after Week 2:

- F you, Miami Dolphins. All preseason, I hear that you will feature Reggie Bush as your RB this year. As a long-time Reggie fan, I remain skeptical at the likelihood of this plan materializing. Week 1, you stay true to your word and feature Reggie Bush as your RB, giving him 20 touches and likely another 5-7 targets above that. He gets 95 total yards and a TD. Very respectable for a flex spot. So, I put my trust in you in Week 2, and you F me in the A! Why!?!?!

- The Pats look good, but whoa Pats secondary! For the second week in a row, you got torched! In Week 1, all-time Dolphin great Chad Henne goes for 416. In Week 2, all-time Douchebag great Phillip Rivers goes for 378. Granted, this may be a self-fulfilling prophecy: the Pats get a big lead in a hurry, and the opposing QB is left to throw all game, resulting in a lot of yards, many incompletions, and a few picks. But still--can the Pats afford to give away 400 yards a game in the air? I guess they can--so far. Note to self: start #1 WRs against the Pats' D. Might Ryan Fitzpatrick be a good starting QB against the Pats?

- Cam Newton did it again? He's on pace to eclipse 6,500 yards in the air and also rush for 500. Rookie of the year, anyone? Lotta picks, though. Charles Woodson had a field day with Newton on Sunday. Although I picked him up in my league, I am still skeptical. That team has been too one-dimensional thus far, and is 0-2 to show for it. The Panthers will need to start running the ball to win games--Newton's numbers will drop bigtime, and the Panthers should start winning games. Problem is, as long as the Panthers' D is so banged up, it's hard to see the Panthers not getting down early and often and having to throw deep to catch up. Also, the Jags give up a lot of yards through the air. Could he go off again?

- Miles Austin owners, you had a good two weeks. Good luck now. After two stellar weeks racking up 233 yards and 4 TD, Austin's hammy will keep him out until October 16th. Is anyone going to pick up Jesse Holley on this news? Not sure. Hopefully the excess throws will go to Jason Witten. With Romo banged up, Austin out, and the imbalance between the run and pass so huge, look for the Boys to start going to the ground and for short, check-down and dump-off passes more.

- If Big Ben can only put up a 15-point fantasy week against the Seahawks, what can we expect from him the rest of the year? Well, luckily, I think more. The Steelers still have (get this) the Colts, Jags, Cardinals, Browns twice, Bengals twice, Chiefs, Rams, and Niners on the schedule. Are you kidding me???? They even go against the Pats, who apparently like to get thrown on, and the Titans, who I can't imagine are that good. Big Ben, you better perform. Your owners want more yards and TDs out of you. Less rapes.

- Michael Turner is averaging 6.9 yards per carry this year. Matty Ice, stop throwing aimlessly to Julio Jones and give fatty the rock!

- Tony Gonzalez had a monster game against the Eagles (83 yards and 2 TD) and I think he provided the blueprint on how to attack the Eagles offensively. No team is going to have much success on the edges with Asante Samuel and Nnamdi Asomugha locking things down and DRC providing nickel coverage. Evidence: Roddy White 23 yards, Julio Jones 29 yards, Harry Douglas 19 yards. However, teams will be able to attack the linebacker corps of the Eagles, and also should have success undercutting the aggressive "wide 9" pass-rush technique with up-the-gut runs and well-timed screens. Between-the-tackles runners, tight ends and utility backs against the Eagles should be good plays throughout the year. At least until the Eagles O-line-coach-turned-Defensive-Coordinator figures out what's going on.

- Anyone who was supremely bored on Monday night and watched the Rams-Giants games knows this: Josh Brown is a good pickup at kicker. The Rams are a perfect fantasy kicker team. Strong-armed quarterback who can deliver the ball downfield with accuracy and relative ease, but enough question marks on offense to be predictable and thus dreadful in the red zone. Josh Brown got you 3 FGs and an XP on Monday. In Week 1, two FGs and an XP. And the guy's got a big leg. Should be good for a solid 7-12 points a week at the kicker spot.

- If you have a defense who likes to blitz, definitely start them when they play the Bears. The Bears-Saints game did not prove to me that the Saints still have a good defense. It proved to me that the Bears have an absolutely deplorable offensive line. On the 6 sacks Cutler took, I'd like to know the average elapsed time from snap to sack--couldn't have been more than 2 seconds. These were not coverage sacks. Every one was a blown assignment or a blitz that went unaddressed. Side note: few things make me happier than to see Jay Cutler in misery.

My quick thoughts on Week 2:

- Kenny Britt is a beast and a must-start as long as Hasselbeck continues to have this career-reviving year.
- Drew Brees hasn't thrown a pick yet, but look for that to change. Too many close calls so far. Quietly, Brees has the second-most completions of 70+ yards since the merger with 12 (first place, Favre, of course).
- Purely fantasy-wise, the Saints are a waste for your RB spots. Too much splitting between the three guys. Look to Sproles to get the red-zone TDs, as the Saints love the screen play in that part of the field.
- Matt Stafford, seriously? The guy is legitimately good! Watch him look off the safety on his long TD pass to Scheffler on Sunday. Let's see if he can pick apart Green Bay's D.
- Eli Manning is simply not that good. Even when he sets his feet and gets a throw off, he doesn't inspire confidence. And his receivers (except Nicks) are shaky at best. And now Hixon is out with an ACL. Ouch.
- The Texans are best in the league against the pass going into the Superdome this week. Something's gotta give.

The Bug

Is officially making its rounds. I thought I would be immune because of my general awesomeness and immunity-boosting instincts, but boy was I wrong. Jumped on a train to NYC on Saturday evening for a fun time with friends and family, and woke up Sunday morning with a scratchy throat. Monday, the throat was on fire. Tuesday, not so much throat, but coughing, sneezing, and congestion. Last night, trouble breathing through the nose and thus cottonmouth every 20 minutes and 4.5 hours of severely interrupted sleep. Today, thanks to Veramyst, the right nostril is flowing freely, but left nostril is doomed. Makes me yearn for the days that I breathe freely and think nothing of it. The things we take for granted!

Quick note about the Veramyst I've been pumping through my nose all morning. Back in spring, Ach invited some of us over to his place for New York strip steaks, Islay scotch, and Texas Hold 'Em poker. I partook in all of the above, and right vigorously. After cleaning house in poker at 3am, I wound down for the night on Ach's couch. Ever the responsible drunk, I managed to set my iPhone alarm for 7:45am, so I could make my 8:15 doctor's appointment. Mid-check up, the doctor noted my raspy voice, bloodshot eyes, and general grogginess. Curious, he asked me, "What's wrong with you?" Ever the quick-thinking drunk, I responded, "Allergies. I spent the night at a friend's house last night, and he has a cat. Also, it's early spring, so the pollen is killing me. And it's 8am right now, when the pollen count is highest. So...you know." And BOOM! Three bottles of Veramyst free samples later, I was outta there!

Good thing he didn't take my blood that day. It would have been thin, and likely peaty.

What a Week 1!

So, I just thought about it, and this has to go down as one of the greatest Week 1's in NFL history, just based on big plays. In just the first week of the season, we already have:

- The longest kickoff return in history (Randall Cobb, 108 yds)
- The longest FG in history (Sebastian Janikowski, 63 yds)
- The longest pass play in history (Tom Brady to Wes Welker, 99 yds)
- The most passing yards by a rookie QB in his debut (Cam Newton, 422 yds)

In addition, we had a titanic matchup between the Saints and Packers that went down to the last snap, a miraculous comeback by the Jets in front of an emotional crowd on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, and the effing Buffalo Bills hanging 41 points on last year's AFC West champions! What the hell is going on?

I love the NFL!

Striking Fantasy Gold, Sort Of

Yesterday, I woke up to see that in one of my fantasy football leagues, I was down 124-60. My opponent still had Rob Gronkowski and Sebastian Janikowski going in the MNF games, while I had Tom Brady, Wes Welker, Brandon Lloyd, and Dan Carpenter going for me. I needed my four guys to outscore his two guys by 64 points or more.

The way I saw it, Carpenter and Janikowski would cancel out, while Gronkowski and Lloyd would cancel out. So it was up to Brady and Welker to get me 64 or more points. A tall task for sure, but I'll be damned if they didn't give me 69 points! The highlight of those 69 points was the garbage time, 99-yard Brady to Welker TD pass. On that one play, I netted 9 points from Brady (4 for the yards and 5 for the TD) and 16 from Welker (10 for the yards and 6 for the TD), for a 25-point play. I discussed it with my brother, and I don't believe there is any play in football that can net a fantasy player more points than a 99-yard TD pass when you have both the QB and the receiver. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

So after the Pats-Fins game, I'm looking pretty good--Brady/Welker got me 69, while Gronk gave my opponent 16. So I made up 53 points of the 64-point deficit. Now, I just needed Brandon Lloyd to outscore Janikowski by 11. Again, not easy to do, but Lloyd was such a huge target for Orton all year, I thought at least he'd get 70-100 yds and a TD. What I did not expect was for that motherf*cker Janikowski to tie an NFL record 63-yd FG along with two other FGs, while Orton fumbled and threw the ball away all night. Totally hosed!

If you had told me that my four MNF players would net me 84 points, I would have been ecstatic. I put up 144 points and still lost. I got the best fantasy play possible, but all for naught. Sorry the picture's small--click through to see the original size.

Update: I've decided that there IS a play better than the one mentioned above. The same play, but with the addition of being "short" the opposing defense, ie, your opponent having the opposing defense. In my case, the Welker TD put the Pats above 35 points, which puts the Miami D in negative territory for points (and in more negative territory for yards, if the league is one that docks for yards given up).

Just $2,000?

Ok, so anyone who watched the US Open this week knows about the Serena Williams episode. Serena, who yelled "Come on!" as she unleashed an inside-out forehand to Stosur's backhand, was charged with "intentional hindrance"--meaning that her yell interfered with Stosur's attempt to return the ball. First of all, I agree with the call--grunting while hitting is one thing, but blatantly yelling words while the opponent is running down the ball is another. Either way, the call was controversial.

What ensued, though, was utterly disgusting. Serena, over the next 10-15 minutes, repeatedly glared at and yelled at the chair ump, saying things like "I truly despise you," "You are unattractive on the inside," and "Don't even look at me in the hallway, you don't want to look at me," which to me seems like a not-so-thinly veiled threat of abuse. Serena was then charged a code violation for verbal abuse.

For Serena, this is nothing new. Remember this? And Serena is still "on watch" from that incident, which means she needs two clean years of tennis to avoid being banned from future grand slam events. Well, she juuuust made it, I guess, because the USTA only fined her $2,000 for her behavior at the match. In any other sport, jawing at the officiating crew in such a manner would result in an immediate ejection, perhaps a suspension (without pay) from a game or two or many, and maybe even a fine on top of that. Serena was charged $2,000, with no "repeat offender" punishment, no suspension, no ejection, anything.

Here's how laughable Serena's punishment is: in the 73 minutes that match lasted, Serena made $900,000 for being the runner-up. That means she made $12,329 PER MINUTE in that match. Which means that during her tirade, which lasted 10 minutes or so, she made $123,290, and was fined $2,000. So she netted $121,000 for her outburst. Hell, maybe we should all start yelling at USTA refs!

Dear United Illuminating

Please restore my power. And also, fix your effing website so that, while I don't have power, I can at least figure out when I can expect it.

Hugs and kisses,

TheRanga

Bretton Woods

So, last week, on a whim, I accompanied Anant to Bretton Woods, NH. He was there for a conference on the Microeconomic Underpinnings of Macroeconomic Theory, a topic in which I take great interest, so I tagged along. Wait, sorry--they have a championship golf course there, so I went on a mini-vacation. Over two days, I probably hit 8 buckets of balls, had a private, hour-long lesson with a pro for the price of a group clinic, and played 18 holes. Most encouraging moment of the stay: when the pro told me that I should be shooting in the 70's with my swing. Least encouraging moment of the stay: realizing it's going to take a long time to get there, as evidenced by my 90 on the course. The irons were magnificent when they were hit right. Problem is, I only hit a handful right all weekend.

But that's enough golf talk. Let's talk about Vermont, a state we had to drive through on the way there. Now, I've read about Vermont, and about how they vehemently oppose the entry of Wal-Mart into the state and want to preserve the natural beauty of the place. That's fine, I've always thought--they're just sort of hippie. But seriously, Vermont, ever heard of lights? Infrastructure? Commerce? No development whatsoever. You can't drop a nuke on Vermont and hit a building, much less a business. I've never driven through such a desolate highway in my entire life--and I've driven across the US five times in the last decade, hitting every state except Maine and North Dakota. Of the 170 or so miles we drove in Vermont, there were 19 exits. And because Vermont is so dedicated to preserving the natural beauty of the state (it really is a beautiful state), even when there are exits, there is nothing to speak of. On I-91, over the entire ride, we saw one gas station and one McDonald's. They were on the same exit. Apparently some Vermont town sold out to corporate greed.

Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with any of this. Problem is, as day turned to night, the beauty of Vermont morphed into outright Blair Witch creepiness. Still, not a HUGE problem--just keep the head down and get to the resort, right? Well, here we are, minding our own business, cruising along at 75mph, and out of nowhere, a fucking coyote darts out in front of the car and BAM! Something goes flying over the top of the car as I brake hard. Immediately, I feel intense drag underneath the car and a lot more wind resistance. Clearly, the coyote is pinned under the car, and we're now going about 25-30mph a few hundred yards after impact. As we pull over, my heart is pounding, knowing that there is a damn coyote stuck under the front of the car. But because I'm a pussy, I make Anant get out and survey the carnage--I don't want to see a decapitated coyote stuck between the bumper and the tire. Anant gets out and, lo and behold, nothing is there. No blood, no fur, nothing. Just a bashed in front bumper (this is a rental car, btw).

Figuring it's not smart to survey the situation on the side of a dark highway, we decide to take the next exit and go to a gas station. Of course, this takes an extra 30 minutes. And when we arrive at the gas station at 8:15, it is closed. Luckily, we catch the owners as they are locking up, and they let us hang around, pop the bumper back into place, and come in and freshen up. This is when I realize that Vermont is not hippie at all. In fact, Vermont is just as redneck as any state in the nation. They're just almost-Canadian rednecks, which is why no one cares. Literally, they have enshrined a "Wall of Fame" of local kills right next to the bathroom inside the convenience store. One picture shows a camo-clad 60-year old woman with about 8 foxes and 35 coyotes, all dead and lined up for show on her deck, the woman gesturing over her conquest like Vanna White revealing the Wheel of Fortune answer. Below her is a series of pictures of an 8-year old boy who has killed a black bear and numerous 10+ point bucks. Trying to break the awkward silence with the owner, I say "wow, that kid is impressive." To which the owner replies, "yeah, it's too bad his family is under investigation for poaching."

Finally, we get back on the road. Happy to have the coyote slaying and Wall of Fame behind us, I'm ready to get to the resort. That's when I see the next road sign: "Caution: Moose Crossing Next 40 miles."

Dear God, get me the F out of Vermont. 

The ManCave!

"TheRanga, what's going in your ManCave?" you may be wondering. Well, I'll tell you!

AV Receiver: Denon AVR-3312CI
Front Speakers: Polk Audio RTi10's
Center Speaker: Polk Audio CSi5
Surround Speakers: Polk Audio FXi A4's
Subwoofer: Polk Audio DSW microPRO 1000
Projector: Undecided between Epson PowerLite Home Cinema 8350 and Epson PowerLite Home Cinema 8700UB
Projector Screen: One of these
Blu-Ray Player: Oppo BDP-93
Pool table: Either this or this

As you can see--this all requires money. While I plan on paying MSRP on none of these items, it will still take time. The goal is to have it all ordered and installed hopefully in the next 6-8 weeks, with plenty of time to watch the NFL season heat up. It's all coming together.

Update

Ok, first things first. I'm sure you've all been wondering, "What has TheRanga been up to all these months?" Well, I'll tell you. I've been down in the basement.

We've got a semi-finished, 1100 sq. ft cave downstairs in the house that has served as a large storage room for the last year. Oh, and a Beirut arena. But that's pretty much it. For New Year's, the basement looked terrible, but we salvaged what we could out of it. We used cardboard boxes from a tv and some speaker towers to construct a makeshift Beirut table. Because I am a lazy sack of shit, that table was just taken down about a month ago, and the attendant beer bottles disposed of at the same time. Whoops.

Anyway, I've gotten my act together. Thanks to MomRanga, I got the idea to simply stain the concrete floor, rather than mess with installing carpet or tile flooring. For a manageable $650 and about 3-4 full, hard days of work, Anant and I got the basement looking good--a nice, leathery look with a muted gloss. We took that picture about 5 minutes after the acid was sprayed on, so the pic appears wetter/glossier than the floor finally ended up. The sealing process was a bit of a monkey F-ing a football, but we got it done, with only a few whitish spots here and there. The key lesson there--apply many thin coats of sealant, and make damn sure the floor is dry before you do it! Still, more or less, the floor looks excellent after applying the final coats of floor polish. I figure we saved probably $3-4k by doing it ourselves, rather than going with a professional.

Now, just to get some electrical wiring and baseboard trim, and we're good to go. ManCave, here we come! Next up--pool table, bar/buffet, projector, screen, and some thunderous speakers.

And We're Back

Sorry for the months of absence. This is my cursory post to say I'll be better about getting the blog going. I'm going to include way more than Duke bball at this point, since Duke bball is just a November to April issue.

In the spirit of the above issues, I've repackaged the blog and branded it my own to reflect that more than just bball will be discussed here. Gone is gotohellcarolina.blogspot.com and here we are at therangablog.blogspot.com.

What do you want to hear about?

Tonight's Games

The early games both sucked bigtime. Carolina got up by 30 before Marquette realized a basketball game was being played. And Kansas just came out on a mission called, "Don't pull a Kansas" and totally dispatched of Richmond by the third TV timeout. Two dominating performances by teams and coaches who know how to win in March.

Meanwhile, the late games are both fantastic. VCU and Florida State keep exchanging the lead in San Antonio, while Ohio St. and Kentucky are mired in a dogfight in Newark. I'm very impressed by Kentucky's athleticism for sure, but also their composure. Considering how young that team is, they are playing a very experienced and good Ohio State team extremely well.

Update: VCU is now putting some distance between themselves and FSU--57-49 with just under 10 minutes. Kentucky up 53-51 with just over 6 left.

Morning Thoughts

1. No more Duke talk. It's over, has been blogged about, and we can move on. I have closure.

2. Archer is a great show, undeniably boosted by the presence of the hottest female ever animated, Lana Kane. Good lord, she puts those Disney princesses to shame. Take that, Jasmine!

3. April on Parks and Recreation gets more and more hateable each episode. April, we get it, you don't care. Now shut up and stop being such a b*tch and wasting screen time. You are taking away valuable Tom and Ron minutes, as far as I am concerned.

4. My brother-in-law is a total snob. He's complaining that his coffeemaker smells of French Vanilla coffee and that it's nauseating. Seriously? If only the rest of the world suffered like he did.

5. Mother Nature officially sent out a huge F You to its Northeastern residents last week, blessing us with a 75 and sunny Friday afternoon. I busted out the flip flops, donned shorts and walked around the yard, happy that spring had arrived. Wednesday, it snowed 3 inches. The highest temperature we'll see in the next 7 days is 48 degrees. Meanwhile, back home in Louisiana, it's a balmy 84 today. Winter sucks.

6. It was about two years ago that I happened upon Ben Howland at the Westwood BrewCo in Los Angeles. It was probably midnight on a Wednesday and Howland was double-fisting Buds--my kind of man. Excited to see UCLA's basketball coach five feet away, I drunkenly and loudly mentioned to my buddy, "There's Coach Howland!" Because I am loud and obnoxious, Howland heard me. Surprisingly, he approached us and engaged us in conversation. We talked over a couple of drinks about his recent Final Four runs, Duke basketball, UCLA basketball, and the like. Finally, Howland let us in on the occasion for his Bud-swilling: Jrue Holliday had just decided to bolt UCLA for the NBA, a decision that would leave UCLA bankrupt at PG after recruits had all been locked up for the next year. Howland clearly had no idea what he was going to do, so he drank. The last two years have shown just why Howland was so devastated by Holliday's move. Going from perennial title contender to a team battling to make the NCAAs is tough. But looking at UCLA's 2010-11 season and what's to come, I bet he has a lot to look forward to from here. Here's to you, Coach Howland--let's hope 2011-12 brings good things to UCLA!

A Rambling About Stats

Let me get this out of the way first: Ken Pomeroy is one smart dude. He does stuff with sports and numbers that I could only dream of, and he's turned it into what seems to be an awesome career, being a student of sports and stats, earning courtside seats at NCAA games and tweeting win probabilities. The guy has gained traction among the most renowned sportswriters out there, and for that he deserves all the credit in the world.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about win probabilities. I just don't get it. I understand that each and every possession has some varying amount of impact on how the rest of the game will play out, based upon the success or failure of that possession. However, from what I've followed of the KenPom win probability tweets during the tourney, they just seem off.

Example #1: Villanova vs. George Mason, Ken has Nova at 80% at the under-4 media timeout in the second half. Now, all things considered, being up by 6 points with 4 minutes left is an enviable position, but purely on the surface, I see it as only a two possession game when each team has around 4 possessions left. Inwardly, I doubted the 80% probability, knowing of GMU's penchant for magic and Nova's, well, shittiness to end the season, especially that horrible loss to USF at the Big East tourney. At the end of the season, Nova clearly looked like a team that didn't know how to win games; Mason, on the other hand, has the experience of a recent Final Four trip and a coach who can coax great things out of his players. I know KenPom is only looking at numbers, but when handicapping a game with win probability, don't these intangibles/qualitative factors matter at least a little bit, if not a whole lot? How can Nova's late-season futility factor into that win probability? Maybe it does--I know KenPom is a smart guy and generally thinks his numbers through to the last detail. But still, 80% seemed very high to me in a two-possession game with 4 minutes left, and Mason ended up actually winning the game.

Example #2: Duke vs. Arizona, KenPom has Duke at 91% at halftime. Duke is up by 6 in a game that has seesawed during the first half, with neither team convincingly pulling ahead of the other for a sustained period (Duke was up 11, but the lead vanished rapidly). Knowing what I know as a Duke fan--that long, athletic, strong rebounding teams are the perfect recipe for disaster for Duke; that Arizona goes 2-3 guys deeper than Duke and would thus likely be fresher in the second half; and knowing what stats gurus know about Arizona--that Sean Miller is the best after-timeout coach in the NCAA, how does KenPom handicap Duke at 91% in a two-possession game when Sean Miller is coming out of a 20-minute timeout? Again, I'm not using science here--I am just saying that if someone had given me 9 to 1 odds on Arizona winning that game at halftime, I would have taken them in a heartbeat. That game was not nearly 90% decided at the half, but somehow KenPom's numbers said it was.

I only bring this up because of something that happened to me long ago. When interviewing for a job, my boss-to-be asked me, "Can you statistically prove that there is such a thing as 'The Zone?'" He offered the Mike Dunleavy, three 3's in three possessions scenario that unfolded in the 2001 Duke-Arizona title game. As a 35-38% three-point shooter at the time, the chance that Dunleavy makes three in a row is not great--around 4-5%. Yet Dunleavy did it in the game, and I'm certain at many other points in the season, although I cannot be sure without watching tape. Of course, I bombed the question, but the fact remains, Dunleavy made a 4-5% likely scenario occur more than 4-5% of the time, suggesting that there is such a thing as "The Zone" which makes him more likely to hit 3-point shots on a given night. The idea is similar to the recent financial crisis, where some uncountable number of six-sigma events all occurred one after the other. By definition, six-sigma events should occur once every 10,000 years or something bizarre like that, yet we had Bear Stearns funds collapsing, Lehman failing, housing tanking, and subprime lenders failing all at the same time. In that case, the economy was in "The Zone" of doing really shittily. Just like Dunleavy was in "The Zone" for making 3's against Arizona in 2001. So while numbers explain a lot, much of the time--more often than the number suggest--the numbers end up being flat-out wrong. Which brings me back to the damn win probabilities. Nova = wrong. Duke = wrong. Bigtime. The numbers told us one thing, the reality was something different--and no one was THAT surprised.

I can't begin to understand the numbers, models, and details involved in calculating a win probability. I just know that the win probability cannot and will not incorporate all the available information at hand (intangibles, qualitative factors, fatigue in a late-season game), and thus cannot be that accurate. I'd be interested to know how the win probabilities have fared for the entire tournament. Until then, I'll just go with my gut.

Just For The Record

Dear ESPN,

Between March 16 and April 2, no one gives a shit that the Colts are on the Clock. Give it up. The NFL is in a lockout right now, and all signs point to my fall Sundays totally blowing goats. So, to make up for it, during these three weekends, Sportscenter should be 99% college bball and perhaps 1% other stuff, mostly former college bball stars like Derrick Rose tearing it up in the NBA. Any other time in the year, yes, I may care that the NFL draft is looming. But right now, hell no. But yes, I will gladly watch the Wayne Rooney bicycle kick on Best of the Best if you continue to show it.

That is all,

Arie

Tough Loss for the Blue Devils

Well, what's done is done.

Duke closed the book on another strong season earlier tonight, even if it did so in a remarkably disappointing manner. As a Duke alum and lifelong Duke fan, this one hurts, but it is what it is. Some thoughts on the game, the season that was, and the future for Duke:

1) Arizona played a damn, damn good basketball game. In the first half, Arizona's offense was merely the Derrick Williams show (and what a show it was). In the second half, it was anything but. Williams only logged 7 points out of Arizona's 55 point outburst in the second half, while the Wildcat role players Lamont Jones, Solomon Hill, and Jamelle Horne delivered debilitating haymakers and humiliating posterizations to the Devils. Even on the few possessions Duke managed to play decent D, Zona still managed to knock down tough, mid-range jumpers or at least scrap around for an offensive rebound and get a putback. The second-half rebounding imbalance was astronomical--something like 25-8 before garbage time truly began. While Duke could have done better, any impartial observer has to give the lion's share of the credit to Arizona. Those guys played their butts off, huslted to every loose ball and routed Duke to show for it. Also, Derrick Williams made himself a rich(er) man tonight. That guy is something else. He just needs to pin his damn ears back.

2) The Pac-10, which many considered down, may not be so down. Arizona dismantled Duke like no one has this year; Washington gave UNC all it could handle in a de-facto home game for the Heels in Charlotte; and UCLA knocked Izzo out and gave Florida a scare in Tampa for 38 minutes. For a conference whose highest seed in the tourney was a 5, that's a pretty solid effort. And looking forward, the Pac-10 is positioned to be one hell of a conference next year. The Wear twins will debut for the Bruins, Arizona will likely continue its resurgence under Sean Miller, and LoRo will have the Huskies barking as usual in Seattle. Now if only my boy Johnny Dawkins could get something going out at The Farm...

3) It's tough to see Duke's season end. I think I speak for Blue Devil Nation when I say I was absolutely ecstatic for Kyrie Irving's arrival in Durham. To only see the kid play for 11 games is crushing. I am left wondering just how good he could have been--and how good this team could have been--if Kyrie had 37 games under his belt. Sadly, because the Cavs totally suck and need a PG, I think we've seen the last of Kyrie in a Duke jersey. Best of luck to him going forward, and I personally will follow his NBA career with great interest.

4) But with Irving's (likely) exit, Duke can open the book on another scintillating recruit: Austin Rivers. Rivers has already made history in Florida (no school had ever won consecutive 6A state titles before Rivers' Winter Park squad did it this year), and we hope he'll do it again at Duke next year. While his youtube videos don't seem as fascinating as Irving's from last year, we've yet to see Rivers against a true crop of elite recruits--that will come in about a week when he suits up for the McDonald's All-America game. The early thinking on Rivers is that he'll be a great mismatch guy positioned at the 2 for Duke. In addition, Duke will add Quinn Cook, another highly-touted recruit who can dribble, drive, and finish with the best of them. We'll look for Cook and Rivers to contribute almost immediately for Duke next year with the losses of Nolan Smith and Kyle Singler. Finally, Marshall Plumlee will come into the fold, and hopefully he'll have some post moves that he can teach his brothers. With the recruits and the return of Dawkins, Curry, Plumlee, Plumlee, Kelly, Thornton, and Hairston, Duke could probably be looking at a preseason top 10 or 15 ranking. If Irving returns (and that's an enormous if, because, again, the Cavs suck), then Duke could legitimately be a preseason top 5 team.

5) I'm done with all the Dos Equis in the house, and am now onto the Miller Lites. It's 2:30 am, and I have no intention of quitting anytime soon. I might drink straight til Sunday evening.

6) Teams I'll be rooting for on Friday: Kansas (shoutout to my boys The Face and MattyJ), FSU (gotta show my ACC loyalty, though I love the VCU story), Ohio St (unstoppable so far), and Marquette (I know UNC will win, but I can't root for them. Realistically though, they are just too much for Marquette; looking for a big game from Barnes on a big stage).

7) My picks Saturday/Sunday (same as teams I'll be rooting for): Butler over Florida (can't get enough of Brad Stevens and what he's done there, and that Butler D is STOUT), UConn over Zona (Kemba pulls a Kemba; Oriakhi and Okwandu can battle on the boards), Ohio St over UNC (experience over youth, Marshall could clam up in the big game), and Kansas over FSU (too much to deal with inside for FSU).

After Five Years, We're Back Up!

Hello all!

After four years, I've decided to re-launch the old blog. I'll still have the same old Duke bias as always, but I'll cast a wider net and cover anything and everything interesting, relevant, and noteworthy. Welcome!